- Rachel: Remember when Finn wanted to name Beth Drizzle and we got our first look at serial killer Quinn
- Quinn: Yes-- wait, what?
- Rachel: And remember when you let Puck name Beth after that KISS song. Thank goodness he didn't sing Roxanne you would have named your baby after a prostitute
- Quinn: Rachel...
- Rachel: And remember when you didn't even talk about Beth for a whole seas-- year and no one said anything about it and it was almost like it didn't happen at all
- Quinn: Well, that might not have actually been me...
- Rachel: And remember when you came back all punk from summer break because you remembered you gave birth and then you pretended to not be punk to get your baby back and then you thought it'd be a good idea to just steal Beth but then I was like 'no Quinn don't' and you didn't 'cause you is whipped
- Quinn: Are you almost finished
- Rachel: Yes. And remember how after that it was like you forgot about her again and Shelby disappeared and no one ever asked what happened to them
- Quinn: And I also remember how after college we started dating and got engaged and wanted to invite Shelby and Beth to our wedding and we found out that they were living in New York as well and now we visit them almost every other weekend and everyone is living happily ever after
- Rachel: Yeah... That's an awesome headcanon
When Quinn sees Rachel’s name light up her phone’s screen, she’s expecting it to be Rachel inquiring for the thousandth time when they will finally be visiting each other. And Quinn’s right.
“Hey, Rach, what’s up?”
“Your place or mine, Quinn.” It’s not even a question.
“I heard from a very reliable source that you wish to have sex with me.”
Rachel either doesn’t hear Quinn hiss Santana’s name under her breath, or she chooses to ignore her (most likely the latter, Rachel Berry “has impeccable hearing”) because Rachel just keeps talking.
“And as you’ve said, I am a star, correct?”
“Well, according to the fairy tale, when you wish upon a star…”
And honest to goodness, in true Rachel Berry fashion, she starts singing.
“Makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you.”
Again Quinn responds under her breath, this time more of a mutter. “You didn’t have to emphasize come…”
And again Rachel probably ignores her. “So, are we doing this?”
Quinn can’t even deny that this is what she wants, so her agreement is immediate.
“Yes… But, Rachel, are you sure that counts as a fairy tale?”
“Just go with it, Quinn. It’s all she could come up with.”
“Ay yo Rachel
I’ve been thinkin that you and me’s should go out sometime”
(Skank!Quinn is the Fonz in my head)
“I don’t know Quinn
I don’t really know you that well. What do we even have in common?”
“Uh how bout we’re both two fine bitches with mad style, ya dig?”
(I’ve lost control of Skank!Quinn at this point)
“You make an excellent point Quinn
Pick me up at eight on Friday”